I think it's kind of funny how well we fit when in some ways we are so incredibly different, but i guess that's probably what makes us work. I say that because Brad is a very private person and i'm an open book. This is going to be fun, i'm getting giddy just thinking about it! I'm such a nerd.
SOOOO it's so romantic, we met cleaning toilets:) Well sort of, we worked as custodians at Heritage Halls on campus. I'd seen him but never really talked to him till 2 semesters had gone by. We never worked together till then. For some reason i knew i wanted to get to know him. He just seemed intriguing to me, like there was more than met the eye. I don't think i was looking for a relationship because i was still nursing some wounds from a serious relationship i'd been in. Any who, our first subject was music...a common love. So when i heard some of the bands he liked i knew we'd be friends. So we began talking and working more and more. On his side of the story, he thought i was a spunky, crazy dressed girl. He thought i was cute, but not necessarily his type, nevertheless, he kept feeling like he should ask me out, something he'd never experienced before (yeah, it took heavenly guidance to ask the crazy girl out).
it was funny because i remember the first time he called me and how surprised i was. It was raining out (i don't know why i remember that) and he called saying that him and his friends were getting together at his place for pizza and to watch the BYU men's volleyball game. Since he knew i loved volleyball he wanted to know if i wanted to come hang out and bring friends. Well no one could go with but i thought it would be fun and he had peaked my interest. Was this just a front for something more? Or did he just think i'd be fun to hang out with. I was a little nervous! So he came and picked me up and i met the gang for the first time. I can't remember if Rhett was there but i know Joe was...and maybe John, Clint and the girls...i only remember Sandra's name. It was fun and afterwards they decided we should go to the batting cages. When we got there i remember telling Brad how baseball was ok if you were playing it but that i thought it was the most boring sport. He just smiled in his polite quiet way and i think we began talking about something else. Well after a bit, Brad got in the cage and went to town. Sandra and the other girl were laughing at how in to it he was and turned to me and told me how baseball happened to be his FAVORITE sport....yeah...i felt pretty lame in that moment. DOH! Obviously it didn't phase him thank goodness;) So after that we began to hang out more and he would give me rides home from work in SAABY (i miss that car) and we went running together every now and then. Then one night there was a lunar eclipse and i think i asked him if he wanted to go watch it. That's when i knew he liked me. Nothing happened, but you know when you just know there's chemistry there? Well that's what i felt. So then a few days later during our lunch break (which we started taking together) he brought up that there was a cultural festival happening in salt lake that weekend and it seemed like it would be pretty cool. I knew he was trying to ask me out and wanted me to initiate the date but i remember thinking to myself (i'm so stubborn) "no way mister, i initiated the lunar eclipse, you're gonna ask me out on your own!" Poor Bradly, i wonder if he knew what he was getting into when he met me. So yeah, he didn't say anything else and neither did i other than "oh that sounds like fun!" I think a couple of more days passed till he finally asked me if i'd go with him. (If you could see me i have the cheesiest grin on my face right now just thinking about it, i love that boy and his patience!) So we went and had a really good time. But we were just casually dating and free to date others although i think we pretty much kept to each other. I think that was the summer of 2003. I remember going home for a visit and my mom and i went to see a movie but we got there early so we decided to play a trick on Brad. She called him and pretended to be a girl in his ward and asked if he would go on a group date with her and her roommates. Now thinking back i'm sure he was confused and caught off guard (i'm thinking of his reaction at the time) but was like "Sure, that sound great!" Then i chimed in, i don't know what i said but i'm sure he felt silly, especially because my mom was in on it. Poor kid. We had a good laugh though.
I remember how i really liked being with him and felt safe with him but uncertain as to whether i wanted to get serious. Especially since i knew i was going to serve a mission in a year. A lot of guys i had casually dated would be all "Oh that's great!" when i'd tell them, but as soon as things started getting serious they would try and deter me from going. But i always felt like it was what i was supposed to do. It wouldn't be long after till they'd stop calling. In a way i was afraid Brad would be the same and i didn't want that to happen, but at the same time for the first time i never felt pressured to tell him. Then one night when we were talking on the phone i asked him what was the best thing that had happened since he'd gotten home from his mission. After he thought a little he said, "My sister going on a mission" he went on to say a little more about her and that's when i felt safe. And i told him how i planned on going on one. He was so excited for me. But the thing that set Bradly apart from all others i had ever dated was he was always genuine. I never had to second guess his reactions. Like you know those games you play when you're in the dating game...he NEVER played them. I always joke with him about how sincere he is, and how he didn't know how to play the game, he insists he did...but that's just not who Brad is. And that's just one of the many reasons why i love him. ( this is going to be a long blog)
Another time an incident had happened that i thought for sure would make Brad mad at me. It was silly and i was all worried about telling him and many people told me not to that it wasn't a big deal, but to me it was. So one night Brad was over helping me clean my apartment and i finally burst out telling him everything. I remember bracing myself for the worst and seeing Brad just calmly sit there and say, "Ok." I laugh now at the incident because it's so Brad to act and not react. But at the time i was in absolute shock at his reaction. I mean i come from a very emotional passionate family where just about anything can be a big deal (or maybe that's just me) and to see him sit there so calmly...i didn't know what to do. I was sure i had inadvertently hurt his feelings and that KILLED me. So i was like, "Ok? That's it? You're not going to yell at me or get angry?" and he was like, "No, should I?" and he was SO genuine...no games. I remember specifically asking him to yell at me and get angry or do something because i felt bad and he just chuckled and smiled at me and said, "If you want to be punished it looks like you've punished yourself." Yeah to be honest i think most people in his position would have been upset with me, but not Brad. I was in such shock that i think i just stood there bewildered and wondering if such an amazing person could really exist. Eventually i think i smothered him in hugs repeatedly apologizing. He just chuckled and said it was ok and not to worry anymore about it. That's when i knew that Brad was someone really special, and someone i could be safe with. I knew that for the first time in a LONG time i could actually fall in love again. Well a few weeks passed and our relationship progressed till i finally felt like i wanted to take it to the next level and date exclusively. But at the same time i knew something was bothering Brad because he acted like something was on his mind. Finally after we went out one night and he'd dropped me off i called him and we decided we needed to talk. It was late, probably 12 when we went to Kawanis park to talk. In time it came out that even though Brad really liked me he'd been feeling lately that he needed to cut things off and just be friends. I didn't know what to think because i'd felt the opposite. It killed us both, but i trusted him and so i said ok. Now sadly (but this is because this is always what had happened to me) i thought that that was the end. I didn't think he'd really continue to be my friend because that never really happens. At least not in my world. I was so bummed for the next few days. I didn't even see him because he had left town with his family to visit Cali where he'd grown up. But when he got back, he still came and had lunch with me and talked with me and even accepted to come over for dinner to tell me how his trip went.
I'm so grateful for that break because in that time we became the best of friends. I had wanted for the longest time to meet his family and so he finally invited me to go see a friend of his who was playing in a band (Mike...yes, you are part of our story) and then afterward meet his family. I was so nervous and so excited. I remember meeting them for the first time. Nick was probably 6 or so and had a cast on his arm and was reading Harry Potter with Mom. Dan had his crazy Afro hair and was in his pjs and bathrobe at the computer and Dad was making sure we were comfortable. I think Dad offered us some fresh cherries from Grandma's tree's. I was smitten. I remember my heart aching because i felt so loved by them and wanted so badly to claim them as my own (i'm seriously getting emotional just thinking about it...i'm so silly!). Well it was getting late and i think Nick had even fallen asleep on the couch and so Brad and i said goodbye and left to head back to provo. That was another milestone in our relationship because we had a really good talk. I'd asked him if he'd ever been in love before and that's where he shared THE most precious story i'd ever heard. Seriously! You could make a movie out of it. You know, the typical shy boy liking the popular girl ever since elementary them being friends but her never knowing type deal. I won't go on, but i was in awe. What it came down to was that Brad had never told the girl and i was like (in my head) "This is why Brad and i met, it is my mission to get him to open up more and to get him together with this girl!" (it was that good of a story). And for the first time i understood what it meant to love a person so much you just wanted them to be happy. Regardless as to whether or not it was with you. I think i even told him that i was going to get him to confess this to the girl because if he didn't he would regret it the rest of his life! And i meant it and was actually quite passionate about it. We talked even more after that and he began to talk more about how he felt about things and we seriously became so close. School started up again and so we didn't talk as much but ended up working the same shift and getting positions that involved us working together a lot. One day we were cleaning lights in the Conference room that involved us using ladders. I remember trying to freak Brad out by wobbling my ladder at i went and him getting so worried that i would fall that he came and held my ladder. I just laughed and thought it was funny as i was climbing down when our eyes met (i know this sounds cheesy but it's true) and there was something different about the way he was looking at me. Like a more than just friends "i care about you" look. It startled me because i hadn't seen that look in a LONG time. Well that got the ball rolling and finally by the end of September i knew i was seriously in love with him and that if i didn't tell him i would regret it the rest of my life. I wasn't expecting anything in return, especially since i was trying to get him together with this other girl, i just needed to tell him.
So one night i called him and asked him if we could go for a walk and talk. In a heart beat (as always) he was there asking me what was on my mind. Now you must know during our entire relationship i was always the one who easily discussed what was on my mind and my feelings, yada yada yada... But Brad always took time to think things over, how to word them perfectly and the thoughts came little by little. He wasn't used to opening up like i was. But this night man alive i could not get things out. Finally we sat down and were talking about stuff when finally i started mumbling how i didn't want to freak him out or expect ANYTHING from him but that i just needed to get this off my chest, period. Eventually i managed to get the words out that i loved him, and that i just needed him to know that. I couldn't even look at him, i think i was picking at the grass. When i heard him start to spill is guts and talk without hesitation (oh how the roles had been reversed) and how in the end, he realized that he was in love with me. Now i hadn't really been expecting that and didn't really know how to react. I was seriously just numb and just sat there. Finally he walked me back to my apartment and that was that. Funny huh?
Well a few days later i began to stress out (because that's what i do best) and feel like it wasn't right for me to let him love me because i was going on a mission and if he stayed with me who knew what experiences he would miss out on. I remember being so worried and upset about it that i called him bawling my eyes out. He was so sweet and calm and reassured me that this was his choice and responsibility to love me, not mine and to not worry about it. He just reassured me that everything would be ok and that he would support me 100% on going on my mission and to go to bed and get some sleep. Sure enough the next morning i felt at peace with everything and felt that it would all work itself out in the end. That weekend we had our first kiss:)
Sure enough he kept his word and as the following months passed he never once discouraged me from serving a mission. For the first time all those who had always been supportive and encouraging of me serving began to waiver and ask if this was really what i was supposed to be doing (they had all met Brad). My one best friend even took me for a drive to talk about it, to see if i was really sure i should go because she was worried that Brad would be snatched up while i was away and he was too good of a guy to pass up. I'll admit, there were times i was almost convinced to stay for him. But he was the only one who could have kept me back, and he never wavered in his support. He made me excited and eager to serve. He was my angel and sanity. Finally the time came to go and i went. He had my full permission to see other people and he did.
He wrote me faithfully during my entire mission. I think he rarely missed a week the entire 18 months of service. Not once did he try and get me to come home or distract me from what i was doing. He always wrote these spiritually uplifting and encouraging letters. I'll admit i got frustrated, i wanted him to write lubby dubby stuff, but he didn't, he didn't want to be a distraction. He continued to be my rock.
Finally my 18 months were up and i'd had INCREDIBLE experiences that have changed and shaped my life forever. I found "My People" out there in New Jersey. A big piece of my heart is still there. I'm so grateful for those spanish people who continue to astound me...but that's another story. When i got home, Brad was still there. He was the first person i called that first night of being home. I don't even remember how long we talked, and every night afterwards. Finally the whole marriage idea came up, we both knew we didn't want anyone else. Especially since 18 months had past without us talking (just writing) and our love had only grown. He surprised me and flew out at the end of April after school had let out and proposed in the sacred grove up in palmyra NY. My most favorite place in the world. 3 months later we were married and a little over a year later Emma joined the group.
I'm so grateful for Brad and all that he is. I don't think i know a more patient or gentler person. Not once has he ever raised his voice at me, or belittled me, or kept me from growing. Even when i want to give up he's always there telling me i can do it. He is the most amazing man i know. I wish everyone knew him and saw him like i do. I still can't believe a person like him can exist. And i find it harder to believe that he STILL loves me;) I really am one lucky girl. Well, bravo if you've actually read this whole blog. There's details i left out, but that's probably lucky for us all. It'll be interesting to see Brad's reaction to this. (Sorry honey, i was bored and you know how i like to reminisce;) Anywho, and they lived happily ever after...the end.
night!
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